My tough woman

I have always known my mother to be a loud, somebody who will always panic and shout for small things and I know she is not like that at work but when at home she is the boss. And my dad is a complete opposite; quite, slow to anger and patient. (I guess that is how god pairs partners).

Well, this is about my mother, so dad is out of the limelight for now.

She wants things to be done her way and is more stubborn than me. This is why mom and I, can never come to a similar ground many a times.She rightly points out many things she has done that dad would have never done without her.( She is far sighted and smart).

There was a point in my life, when I thought I hated my mom for scolding and not letting us do things or have things that we wanted. At the same time, I always noticed that she is a very sincere and a helpful person. Hospitality at her best, she loves feeding people and talking to people.

I have grown up watching mom taking care of the family, managing work, cooking and feeding us religiously three times a day. ( I wonder at times if I will be able to do things that she does.)

Lately I have seen her helpless and it is disturbing. I wish I could be of help but then I am equally helpless.

I know she has had a difficult time leaving away from her mother and now that she is dying, she cannot even extend a hand to wipe out the sweat from my granny's head. They are too far to reach out to.

My mother's family were many among the others who left the country in the problems of 1993. I really did not have a clue why but then it has been that way ever since I have figured out that they cannot come back. I know they have had a tough time living in the camps for 17 years and now that they are comfortably settled in the U.S, it seems equally painful.

My Grandmother has been diagnosed with cancer and that she would live not less than 6 months. She has already under many operations and doctors have said Chemo therapy would not work in her. Now that is what is bothering my mother. She is losing her sleep and her patience. Her endurance is giving way and the fact that she cannot be there for her mother is eating into her.

I know that she is a very strong woman and this is the only one thing that can break her. And the worst part is that " we, her family" cannot console her in anyways. She will have to be strong herself.

I simply look at her and wonder If I can be like her and hope that I would not have to live away from her at any cost. I have missed my grandparents on many occasions but have learnt to accept the fact.

All I can do for now is this and pray that the doctors are proven wrong and that my mom continues to have that lively attitude and her stubbornness. I just dread the consequences that the news will shatter her. God Bless all the mothers in the world!

Reminiscence

Years,months, weeks, days and hours pass by, I continue to live as I am supposed to. I live with a strong feeling that I have overcome it. I had a feeling that I have overcome the pains and boast of being strong. But seems like all those are only to keep me happy.

I know, You are not coming back. No miracles is to happen and this is how things are supposed to be. I don't even know if you thought about me when you lay there," How would I feel"? Did you? You knew it would shatter me. Did you know how long it would live with me?

I can't tell you how long. Is six years not enough to forget someone? So many things have changed around, the places do not look the same anymore, people have changed and even time has changed. I have finished college and am working as a reporter(I assume you know that by now..) Things would have been so much better now that both of us would be earning and we would not have to worry about so many things.

I do not want to complain, I am happy with life. Everything is perfect. The world is moving at its pace and I share a tiny part in that. Work is fun, Our heads are cool and I have good friends. I hardly get time to think about you. I still love travelling. I just came back from Bengaluru (the name has been changed from Bangalore.) Bishnu finished college and is working there. I had fun there, made some new friends.

Life is running fast and I hardly get to look back but yes I miss you. Yesterday was one of those days, I could not stop myself. I do not know what overcame me, I simply wished you were there.

Today, I am back to normal again. Here on my desk trying to figure out how to start for the week. I work for a weekly, you see Mondays are relaxed for us.

You would be happy to know that I still go to the church. It gives me so much peace and keeps me going. I haven't been able to read the Bible as often as I want to. I would do that more regularly soon.

Mom, dad and brothers are fine too. Enos is in class 12 Science( He will be going to college next year and Suraj in 10( He wants to take up science too), their mid term exams are due next month.

I am good. Lost a few kilos because of cold and fever. What about you? I hope you are fine out there. I wanted to ask you, if you miss me?

If you do, all you have to do is hug your pillow and cry...it helps a lot :-)

P:S- I wonder what you would have become.

I turn a year older

I turn 27 today and the feeling is great. There is nothing unusual about the day apart from the convoy of birthday wishes and the date. It is like any other day.

I turn a year older, an addition to my stay in this world. By rule, I am now supposed be wiser and somber. Moreover, I am now all set to get married. I know that is a bigger concern for my parents but I feel no different then how I felt yesterday.

Of course, I do want to settle down in life, have a family and be a homemaker. But I do not want to hurry and regret it later on. Marriage is a sacred institution and I do not want to take any risks.

Gosh, I know the questions people would be putting across, "when I would tie the knot?" " Am I dating someone?"

And I cannot escape that and who would tell them that I want to take time and wait for the right man. It has been going on for sometime now, but the fear that I will have to be single hasn't really worried me. Maybe it is because I have enough things and people around to keep me occupied. I really haven't given a serious thought. And even if I have, the doubts that I would not be able to manage home and work makes it sound better.

Well, Marriage can wait. I have other things in mind. And on this day, I promise and would strive to be a better daughter, a better sister, a better person and a good reporter first. Others would follow if it has to...Happy Birthday to me!!!

When in India, Know Cricket

Earlier if you asked me if I knew what the game was all about, I would have said, "No, ". But now with a slight twist of events I can say, it is fun. I have learnt the game in about more than two days just because I happen to be in Bangalore with the whole cricket fever going on and if I did not match up, I would be out of the place.

Despite the fact that I have a colleague back at work who plays in the national cricket team, it never came to my interest to know how about the game. So much so that even after he came back after playing match, it ended with the note, " Welcome back and nothing more than that." It was just a routine until today.

I have decided, when I get back I would ask him what is he good at? Bowling or Batting? Now, when he goes out to play, I can relate to what he is talking about. And it all happened because the Cricket World Cup is on here in India.

Thanks to Bhanu Pratap Singh, we call him Majdur for short. He taught the me the basics of a game that brings together the whole of India. Be it Prime Minister Man Mohan Singh or a commoner like the delivery boy who wants to know the latest score or the next door neighbor who bunked office to see the match. Everyone I know here at the moment is talking about it.

" Cricket is religion in India," some body has pointed it appropriately. " From the Bollywood superstars to the business tycoon Mallya or Mukesh Ambani they all have love for the game.

At the mall, you see the salesman at the counter beating his head, a huge crowd in front of the TV showroom, colleges and school remain close and office goers plan a break just to witness the Indian team play.

The highways unusually remain relaxed. " What is the score?" the message tone beeps every minute. Someone who cannot access the match tries to match up.

And all of this curiosity intrigued me why there is so much of buzz when India- Pakistan is playing. And today, I can describe the very feeling of it.

Now, I know why Sachin despite his quirky voice is so popular. Why all the adds on TV these days have cricketers. (so many more)

India beat Pakistan with 29 runs. Celebrations began before the match even got over.

Crackers illumined up in the sky like in Diwali, lots of them. My sister calls from work just to let me hear the noise.

I cannot believe, I sat through the entire India-Pakistan semi-final match like any of my Indian friends screaming and swearing. And not touching the remote for about 8 hours. Although I haven't mastered it completely, I can bet next time when I hear Chakka or How is that, I know what is happening on the field. Who is out and what is a wicket?

Suddenly, cricket has become so exciting. Cannot wait to witness India play against Sri Lanka before I go home.

One day at the Cremation Ground

As the name suggests, Anyone would have guessed what is coming. Yes, Today morning I was at the Dhuetho of our MD's mother. I had never known her when she were alive but then got to attend her cremation. I was one among many who had come to help the be grieved family.

It was my first time attending a Buddhist cremation and I was curious about the whole affair.

while visitors kept pouring in on our side, on the other end of the crematory a woman was waiting on for fire wood so that they could burn her husband. The man had died this very morning cause of some mouth infection. He was survived by a woman and exactly did not get how many children but his son was there at the edge of the pile of the burning firewood sponsored by others who had come for the same.

While, the monks could be heard reciting prayers, three hearths stood blazing. (As if in competition who would burn faster.)

As many of us stood watching the flames bring down the piles of wood on our side, there were none on that side. It looked empty and unattended. So we decided to walk to that side and pay homage. After some time, the whole of Business Bhutan present there gathered around the fire just talking about what human life is destined for and how everyone who take that place in turns.

On inquiring we found that he was from Samdrup Jongkhar, the same place Ata Tashi was from. As the son fiddled with a long stick poking at the fire, " How strong can he be? I questioned myself. I saw not the slightest sign of tears in his eyes.

We stood there for along time looking at the fire burning and just talking.

But how long, could we stand there, the smoke and the wind made it possible so we drifted away. It took a very long time for the fire to burn down the whole set, we could not have waited till the end. As we led ourselves to have lunch, I peeped from the window just to see the fire still burning and thought to myself, " This is it."

the prodigal daughter

Last Sunday was very unusual. Unlike other days of the week, I woke up at 6:45 am, ( the alarm did not even have to go up). Got myself a nice warm bath and by the time my Aunty called, I was all set. I could see that she wan not prepared for that when she asked, " What happened to you today?"

That was rare. The morning air seemed nostalgic as I ran past to catch a taxi.

Perfect! I reached before the praise and worship got over. I felt an extraordinary feeling grip as I joined the choir group with tears surfacing up till my eye lids. I was feeling like that after along time. I was glad, I did not fall back to sleep like other days.

I had to make some strong confessions and resolutions today(;-) That I am keeping to myself and I am glad I have done that).

We had two speakers from Australia, Scott and Ben that day and like they had known what was relevant to me. As I sat listening to these two great hosts, I could let myself loose and strengthen my beliefs to go ahead with my earlier plans.

Ben, 24 in his sharing reflected that he and most young people have similar mistakes and not to loose faith thinking its the end. Our father would always love us the way the father in the story, the prodigal son and waited for his son to return.

I so wanted to confess and go back to what he always wants me to do. I knew he was there watching over me all the time and must have gone sad. I do not know how I lost the track but the hope that I always have the liberty to go back made it easier.

In the meantime, Scott spoke about God's definition about love and said " The power to love" in us comes from the God himself. He said love is something that grows deep in course of time and of another kind which struggles to live with time.

" Love is not based on feelings or attractions but is a choice to extend your love to another in small and larger ways," he said. " There is no risk of rejection, humiliation and pain," he continued.

As he spoke I could not help nodding my head and when he asked, " How are we to love God?"

a long silence prevailed and the young pastor said, "Simple," Pay it Forward."

The only way in which we can show love to God is by loving one another and that is only way in which we can tell God how much we love him.

Bible says, " If anyone says, I Love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For the person who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God who he has not seen.And we have this command from him: the one who loves God must also love his brother. 1 John 4; 20-21.

There are so many commendable things in the book that every time, I open, I have the answers to all my woes and doubts. I need not go to anyone nor consult a expert. Every Sunday, is a Sabbath day http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sabbath for us and I am on my way back.

I know, my father is waiting on me, just like the father who waited for his son to return. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parable_of_the_Prodigal_Son

those Suppandi days

After going through an array on RIP Uncle Pai online, I was talking to a friend, a young chap and realised that he doesn’t know who uncle Pai was. I was taken back.

Referring to characters: Suppandi, Tantri the Mantri, Kalia –the crow, Shikari Shambu and son on, I asked, if he read ‘Tinkle’ and he replied, “No.”

His reasoning to it was that he was born in a digital era and I could relate to it immediately as I have seen my brothers glued to play station or glued to Facebook.

It was true. A flash back to the days when I was studying in Lungtenzampa surfaced in my head.

It used to be so fun going through Suppandi, a village simpleton who always misunderstood the commands of his master, the adventures of the lazy Shikari Shambu , who always ran from troubles but ended up becoming a hero. Tantri the Mantri’s tactics to replace Raja Hooja backfiring, Ramu and Shambu, the two identical twins who always wore checked shirts and shorts. It happened to me and why it happens were always fun to read.

The cover was always inviting and there were times when I used to quickly go through Suppandi features when the shopkeeper was not looking. (It used to happen mostly when I did not have enough money to buy it.)

Nu 25 seemed a lot of money then and special issues of Tinkle which came for Nu 50 always a catch but due to budget constraints, we resolved to borrowing and lending.

It was worth sacrifices on the pocket money. It was with me when I ate and spent hours reading it in the rest room.

These characters were a part of my school days. I assume that most of these generations’ kids have missed that part.

However, it never caught my attention to know-how it was created and who was behind the colourful stories. Of course, I knew the name but had felt the importance to see how he looked like.

And Until I heard of his death, I collected myself to google his image and reflected how this humble looking man used to be a part of my childhood days.

Now I know, he was from Kerala and how intelligently he had blend Indian history into narrative after he learnt that students were bad in history. He used to love children but never had his own.

He has left behind his wife alone and many like me wondering who would take his mission forward.

Rest in Peace Uncle!!

Read the edited version @ http://www.businessbhutan.bt/?p=4888