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Saturday, June 18, 2011

My tough woman

I have always known my mother to be a loud, somebody who will always panic and shout for small things and I know she is not like that at work but when at home she is the boss. And my dad is a complete opposite; quite, slow to anger and patient. (I guess that is how god pairs partners).

Well, this is about my mother, so dad is out of the limelight for now.

She wants things to be done her way and is more stubborn than me. This is why mom and I, can never come to a similar ground many a times.She rightly points out many things she has done that dad would have never done without her.( She is far sighted and smart).

There was a point in my life, when I thought I hated my mom for scolding and not letting us do things or have things that we wanted. At the same time, I always noticed that she is a very sincere and a helpful person. Hospitality at her best, she loves feeding people and talking to people.

I have grown up watching mom taking care of the family, managing work, cooking and feeding us religiously three times a day. ( I wonder at times if I will be able to do things that she does.)

Lately I have seen her helpless and it is disturbing. I wish I could be of help but then I am equally helpless.

I know she has had a difficult time leaving away from her mother and now that she is dying, she cannot even extend a hand to wipe out the sweat from my granny's head. They are too far to reach out to.

My mother's family were many among the others who left the country in the problems of 1993. I really did not have a clue why but then it has been that way ever since I have figured out that they cannot come back. I know they have had a tough time living in the camps for 17 years and now that they are comfortably settled in the U.S, it seems equally painful.

My Grandmother has been diagnosed with cancer and that she would live not less than 6 months. She has already under many operations and doctors have said Chemo therapy would not work in her. Now that is what is bothering my mother. She is losing her sleep and her patience. Her endurance is giving way and the fact that she cannot be there for her mother is eating into her.

I know that she is a very strong woman and this is the only one thing that can break her. And the worst part is that " we, her family" cannot console her in anyways. She will have to be strong herself.

I simply look at her and wonder If I can be like her and hope that I would not have to live away from her at any cost. I have missed my grandparents on many occasions but have learnt to accept the fact.

All I can do for now is this and pray that the doctors are proven wrong and that my mom continues to have that lively attitude and her stubbornness. I just dread the consequences that the news will shatter her. God Bless all the mothers in the world!